In other words, you shouldn’t feel pressured or obligated to move faster than you’d like to and/or engage in any activity that you’re not ready for, and that goes for both in and out of the bedroom.
Remember, if you want to have a shot at turning a dating relationship into a serious commitment, you get to call the shots and go at your own pace.
Making your relationship top priority is better not just for you, but for your children, who need to see you in charge and who feel safer and more secure with parents who have a loving relationship. One partner may be a toss-and-turner, or one may hit the hay early while the other keeps a reading light burning till the wee hours.
For example, "you don't need to share details of past relationships," says Bartlein. The received wisdom here is that if you have time off from your jobs and lives, you should naturally prefer to spend it together.
"That invites comparisons, and when you compare, someone comes up short." The bottom line: You need to be polite and caring when it comes to your partner's feelings. One problem with this rule is that you and your spouse may not have the same definition of a great getaway (you like to ski, he's a beach bum). Lombardo, is the belief "that you have to be each other's likely to split.
Giving up your passions is akin to forgoing your independence, and "without independence in a marriage people feel trapped," says Bartlein. "But many still believe that when the spark dies out, it means they're in the wrong relationship, and seek something new," says Bartlein.
Long-term relationships survive on commitment and trust, out of which grows love. The problem with this so-called rule, says Bartlein, is when couples confuse a calm, predictable union with a bad one.
If you feel as though you’re never going to meet someone of quality and that every date you go on is going to be a disaster, these negative expectations will likely become self-fulfilling prophecies.